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Audible Hörbuch
Spieldauer: 8 Stunden und 43 Minuten
Format: Hörbuch-Download
Version: Ungekürzte Ausgabe
Verlag: HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books
Audible.de Erscheinungsdatum: 11. Juni 2019
Sprache: Englisch, Englisch
ASIN: B07SPHRNWZ
Amazon Bestseller-Rang:
Nr. 44.217 in Audible Hörbücher & Originals (Siehe Top 100 in Audible Hörbücher & Originals)
Dieses Buch ist grundsätzlich lesenswert und bietet interesannte Einblicke in die Welt des Pornos und die Gefühlswelst von Oriana Small, die sehr witzig, tiefsinnig und zum Teil herrlich tragisch mit bitter böser Bissigkeit über die erlebeten Verücktheiten erzählt.
Apparently, that’s the theme of the book, but it doesn’t stop there. The book’s got plenty of juicy domestic violence, sexual and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, dangerous high-risk lifestyle choices and behaviors, and so many other textbook cases of psychological “crutches†that it’s a Pandora’s Box of dysfunction, aberration and pathology – more than enough for a team of Freudian psychologists from Vienna, or a squad of detectives from the Special Victims Unit investigating sexually related crimes, to process in a lifetime.The book describes the most deviant and perverted sex acts imaginable, written as explicitly as possible, yet it’s neither gratuitous nor pornographic. It’s written to shock, and it does, but the erotic narrative is not shocking in itself; the insinuations are shocking, things that are sneered at in “polite†society. The sex and drugs are real and hardcore, not simulated, and not safe by any means, but the reader will not easily separate the sex FROM the drugs, because one feeds the other and neither can live withOUT the other. At least that’s how it is until Oriana Small (aka porn star “Ashley Blueâ€) finds a way to live without abusing either one. Her story is certainly not a confessional. She doesn’t ask for, nor expect, absolution and forgiveness for anything; and why SHOULD she? There’s no trace of regret, remorse or victimization. This is not the story of a submissive woman looking for explanations and reasons -- just the opposite: only a self-confidant woman, albeit emotionally damaged, could live through this and write about it and still be more than a survivor.The book is, possibly, the best example of “authenticity†I’ve ever read.The story is also about a city -- Los Angeles, California -- where people live earsplitting lives of distraction on a daily basis. Los Angeles (especially San Fernando Valley) is the centerpiece for the porn industry, and the book lets us see another side of urban sprawl. We can almost smell the cigarette smoke rising from an ashtray, or from a cigarette butt smoldering on the top of a soda can in a stale, dusty room when the sunlight comes in low from the east and hits it just right, through a half-opened curtain hiding a dirty window in an apartment near Fountain and La Brea, after a night of group sex, recreational drugs and no sleep, AGAIN. Hollywood, West Hollywood, Santa Monica, Santa Ana, Studio City and the entire southern California freeway system are characters in the story with just as much importance, if not more, as any dialogue between boyfriends and girlfriends, filmmakers and wanna-be sex starlets strung out on crystal meth. From Universal City to Las Vegas, from Northridge and Chatsworth to Palm Springs: the story goes everywhere and takes plenty of sex and drugs along for the ride; in this book, sex and drugs are really the only ride.But the book also lets the reader examine a completely different “ethos-system†of co-dependence, honesty, and love -- redefined in terms that are unknown and unavailable to most people. In a netherworld where you and most of your friends are young and damaged goods, barely to be trusted, your collective myths are accepted as “truthâ€, made to create private pretexts for public consequences. It’s almost, but not literally, a “parallel worldâ€, alien to most common shared realities, and yet there are obvious similarities. As the book makes clear, intensely strong loyalties and bonds are formed between people who have more than their share of jealousies, insecurities, possessiveness, emotional withdrawal, self-doubt and estrangement; but they’re just as capable of expressing romantic sentiments as anyone else. The fact that the book describes them having sex with lots of other people, on film and for money, with which to buy more drugs and have sex with even more people, doesn’t even matter.As an outsider looking in, the reader is provoked, or maybe I should say "invited", to defer to a morality that’s intolerable, misunderstood and even condemned. And yet throughout her largely self-inflicted misery, for Oriana Small, at least, at the end of a very long day that had turned into years, the experience of love, a marriage, regeneration and self-renewal were waiting for her at home.
Definitely not what I'd usually read or go for but really interesting nonetheless - this book does have some pretty graphic gritty parts to it but I couldn't seem to put it down. I was really captivated and enthralled with what Oriana's next decision would be and where life would take her, when she would find redemption and peace and all her choices along the way. I have mixed feelings about the sex industry and that's partly why I choose to pick this book up. I wanted a first person perspective of the industry and had heard good things about this memoir. I'm still not sure how I feel about the industry as a whole but I do think this book provoked a lot more feelings of compassion for sex workers than I was expecting. They are after all people too. This book wasn't any kind of study into the industry like I was expecting it to be but was more of just one woman's brutally honest story and experience and I'm happy this book was that instead. I feel like I learned more and had a better reaction and could keep reading because of that. I couldn't stop talking about all the shocking, sad and crazy parts of this book to my boyfriend and read through it so fast! It's a very real glimpse into another's life that I can tell was written with full honesty which was refreshing. Four out of five!
Oriana Small writes honestly about her experiences in her 20s as a star of gonzo porn (just think any sexual act that is painful or gross and frequently both.) But what struck me about the book were her relationships with men who were obviously using her. She seemed to want to please these parasitic guys, because she "loved" them. Then again, she was quite young and she remembers more about her 20s than I do about mine. But sometimes I just wanted to shake her. She seemed to put up with all of their bad behavior.She does a ton of drugs, which seems not uncommon among porn performers, and burns through a ton of money, finally resorting to anal creampie (which is gross but funny in an awful sort of way) porn.Snail's account is honest and unintentionally sad, though she never sees herself as a victim (I do think she's damaged,however.)An engaging read, though not for the squeamish or prudish.
The story begins when she starts porn in 2004 around age 20. The book wraps up around the time she met Dave Naz and stopped being a common porn figure around 2009 or 2010. The story flows and the pages turn. Sometimes I got tired of her and the dreary tales of drugs and douche-bag boyfriends. The heavy drug use and the diseases were annoying to read about. She acknowledges that things like staph and UTIs and serious STDs run amok in the porn community.To her credit she does not sugarcoat or bs. She has intellectual gifts. Her childhood was abusive. Those two things combined into a variegated person with whom many of us would not be able to get along. You can imagine it right? A high maintenance druggie who is full of conflicted feelings of power and vulnerability. But deep inside you get the feeling this person could have been very luminous and productive if raised better. I think she has probably transcended a lot of her problems. I did a search today (September 2017) and saw a picture of Oriana and Dave. She has matured but has not lost her facial looks. She is beautiful. I get the feeling she is still kind of obnoxious sometimes. But her story is far from the typical porn valley misfit. I think it is probably because she does have intellectual gifts. This comes out in subtle ways throughout the story and makes it interesting.I would have liked more information about the industry and the players. About the studios and the locations. That is what I am most interested in and why I looked for books on porn. I would have preferred less about her and the drugged-out drama and more about the experience of driving up to Max Hardcore’s house. But she did provide a decent amount of that, and so I was satisfied.
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